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Transformational Talk
Too Angry with Children?
What can you do when you are angry with your children all the time? Parenting is often stressful, so it’s normal for anger to arise occasionally. When ‘occasionally’ turns into chronic, barely suppressed fury, something’s amiss. Taking care of yourself and your children in these situations is a real challenge.
Here’s the tip. First, create a safe space away from your children to let off steam. Stomp your feet and scream, “It’s not fair, you’re hurting me,” or even, “I hate you.” No need to be ashamed. The demands of parenting can evoke deep pain. When you’re hurting you need permission to express without censoring. Anything articulated privately now will be much less likely dumped on your children in an unplanned meltdown. If possible, ask for a sympathetic friend’s ear or shoulder.
Journaling also helps — especially if accompanied by a little fist shaking. Allow sad, mad, scared energy to move through you briefly. When done, focus attention on the relief in your body for at least 3 minutes. Breathe. Feel your heart soften and open as you give yourself this support.
Once restored, begin setting boundaries more effectively to protect your sanity and teach your children to be more responsible. Be nice but firm about consequences. Finally, set aside one night a week for fun – regardless. Laughing and playing together guarantees children’s cooperation and parents’ satisfaction. Slowly and surely you’ll create the happy family you all deserve. ©
Penelope Young Andrade, LCSW www.penelopetalk.com Call: 858-481-5752 fax: 858-484-8374 email: PenelopeYAndrade@gmail.com