Greetings from
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Pocket Gophers That Distract us/US
It's irritating to me to listen to experts who think that the way to make sure we all have water is to cut back on what we can use—for growers that means 30% less—or build more dams to collect all that rain that's not falling. We can't waste water, but after that why not increase the amount of water we have? As I mentioned last month, I decided to explore how to “create water.”
While experts like big projects, nature generally provides us all we need if we notice. Even when it looks like some areas lack in resources, life in those areas adapt. Why can't we? We're just not very good at noticing the abundance.
Now if I could just apply that principle—with the same conviction—to all areas of my life.
So step one in my water project was reclaiming the backyard, which means getting rid of those animals commonly known as pocket gophers. I tried, but have realized they just have more persistence that I do.
I got riled up when they took two of my apple trees, but they outlasted me then too. I even had a gopher specialist out who made a few suggestions that would have made it easier for him when he came back, but even after I did them he wouldn't come back. “Oh, yeah, I remember that place,” was his comment. Doesn't like a challenge, I guess.
Meanwhile, walking across my backyard means sinking into the ground several times.
I tried flooding them out, but after sticking a hose in one hole for 45-minutes and never seeing one come up for air, or seeing any water either, I gave that up. I don't want to poison or gas them and have that in the ground either.
As far as predators go—owls, cats and dogs—I've read that they go where the hunting is best. So they move on to bumpier pastures when the gopher population dwindles, but that leaves gophers behind. If you've had them, you know how much damage even one pocket gopher can do.
Then I was given another idea. Sound carries under the ground similar to the way sound carries in water. Outside of my office I dug a hole 3.5 feet deep. (I just helped.) Then we put a speaker in a box, wrapped it in plastic, buried it in the hole and ran a line (inside a sprinkler pipe) from the underground speaker to my office. The tough part was hooking up the AC/DC. I didn't have any.
I have a Cream cd with Ginger Baker on drums and Eric Clapton on guitar providing the steady beat I want, but I was afraid the gophers might come to like it. A friend agreed that they just might add percussion and join in. I wanted them to move out, not rock out.
After an evening auditioning groups on You Tube I decided that AC/DC provided the consistent beat that would give them the right vibe.
I'd greet them with AC/DC's “To Those Who Are About to Rock (We Salute You)”, then “TNT,” “High Voltage (Rock and Roll),” “Thunderstruck,” and, of course, “Hell's Bells.”
Without AC/DC, I settled for a rock radio station. We'll see. They've circled another apple tree with mounds, but I'm flattening them out and will see if the mounds reappear.
If this sounds cruel, let me put it in perspective. The sonar device the Navy drops in the ocean tops out at 235 decibels, which literally has some whales jumping out of the water to get away. The world's loudest rock bands get up to 130 decibels. I buried one bass speaker.
I don't want to torture the gophers, I just want them to move. I do think of 235 decibels as torture, and as a country we still seem to be redefining ourselves when it comes to various tortures.
Did you hear about the talk radio host who insisted that waterboarding wasn't torture and to prove it volunteered to go through it on his show. Erich “Mancow” Muller did and instantly threw in his toy cow, which meant: “enough!” How was it? “I don't want to say this: absolutely torture,” he said. See it at www.bradblog.com/?p=7171 or www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Mancow-Takes-on-Waterboarding-and-Loses.html
It is important that we tell the world how we stand on torture, and it's also important for people to partner with whomever they want and keep the government, clergy, and everyone else out of our bedrooms—except those invited. It's unfortunate that it's not a given, so we have to spend the time on it.
When I think of all the attention and “debate” this gets it reminds me of Naomi Klein's book Shock Doctrine . There she shows the way that governments and multinational corporations take advantage of natural and unnatural disasters to implement corporate friendly policies—basically they distract and rob us/US while we're looking the other way. Put another way, if you think one pocket gopher can cause a lot of trouble, you should see what happens when banks have a bunch of pocket Senators—and we aren't looking.
North Korea was being ignored and threw a tantrum. Does anyone think they will wage a nuclear war? They want attention, that is, more money.
When these distractions are the loudest, we should look in our pockets and see what's missing. A lot of our country is being restructured right now. While we are moving in a good direction, there are a lot of gophers sticking around who claim they're home and liked the new beat all along.
The latest to join the sustainable-energy movement? The nuclear power and “clean burning coal” industries.
The insurance industry is helping craft our health-care plan. Including opponents in the planning may be clever in some areas, but what if you want an alternative that doesn't include them? Won't they find a way to include themselves?
For a time last month it seemed that dealing with gophers was a distraction. Maybe it was a good reminder for our times. Check your pockets.
Have a great month,
Steve
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