February 2011

Dear Arielle and Brian,

During the past year I have done many of your suggested soulmate manifestation exercises, however, I still haven’t been able to emotionally pull the cord from my past relationship with Doug. We dated for a few months and then transitioned to just “good friends” because I’m not physically attracted to him and no longer wanted to be physically intimate with him.

I care deeply for him and truly enjoy our time together as friends. I feel my heart is very connected to his but I can’t seem to resolve this past relationship and move on in peace. If you have any advice I would appreciate it!

Thank you,

Katie

Dear Katie,

It sounds like you have strongly bonded to Doug, most likely a result of both your close heart connection and the release of oxytocin in your brain during the times you two made love. Oxytocin is the “bonding hormone” and in your case it sounds like you have formed a deeper connection than you meant to. According to Dr. Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading biological anthropologists studying love and sex, this can be seen as a type of addiction and very difficult to overcome. You may want to take a “break” from your friendship with Doug for a while to unplug from the connection. Sometimes the daily exposure continues to reinforce the connection making it harder and harder for you to make room in your life for someone new.

Whenever we are intimate with another, we leave energetic cords in and on each other. Cutting these cords will be an important next step. You can do this several ways including working with a professional energy healer or by taking a salt bath: fill your tub with warm water and an entire container of table salt (not Epsom salt). Soak for 15-20 minutes and then as the water is draining out of the tub continue to sit there and with your imagination see all the energetic cords from your past lovers going down the drain. Then stand up and take a long, hot, sudsy shower and shampoo your hair.

If you continue to find yourself thinking about him obsessively, you might consider finding a therapist or a coach to work with.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian

 

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle and the author of seven books including Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a lifelong interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA.

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