Difficulty Finding Your Niche in Work?
Do you know how important misunderstandings are for intimate relationships? Many people think ‘good’ relationships don’t include misattunement. Upsets with loved ones then deliver a double whammy: the upset plus the fear your relationship isn’t first-rate. The problem with this kind of thinking is upsets in relationships are unavoidable. Even the best communicators get hungry, tired, aggravated, stressed and/or impacted by unconscious or subconscious internal conflicts that affect your ability to give and receive clear communication. Learning to use relationships’ inevitable misses and messes to deepen connection is the challenge.
Here’s the tip. See if you’re willing to welcome every relationship mishap as an opportunity to know yourself and your beloved better. If yes, breathe in the relief that accompanies accepting your relationship’s essential humanness. Together, plan ahead to slow down during your next upset to remember that each is hurting and each doesn’t understand something important about the other. You may need time apart to settle down and get a handle on what is really going on inside you. Don’t try to talk things through until you are both willing to be compassionate and open. Once you’re both tenderhearted, set safety parameters — no blaming, shaming or piling on. What’s needed now is vulnerability. Share your tears, fears and longing for love. Get ready to discover things you never knew about your partner and your self. Watch your hearts melt as you repair this rupture and realize you are now, truly closer than ever. ©